I don't get their way of thinking. Anyone else have this experience? Have any women here been told by a younger man that she is older enough to be their mother? Somehow I can't see too many men using that line. I have never seen it yet I have heard others tell me I am. I tell them well your old enough to be a moron so there ya go Share Share this post on Digg Del. I think if a woman says "But I'm old enough to be your mother," it either means we are NOT interested or it means we think you're just kidding flirting but not serious and we are giving you an opening and expecting you to try and convince us otherwise.
You could always reply with "Yes, you are but you are far more interesting and more beautiful than my mother Originally Posted by gorillagirl. Originally Posted by grumpysgirl. I've decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I'm having a party! I think any of us with a significant age gap has said that. His reply to me? Because, I AM as old as his mother, 3 months younger.
It doesn't mean she's not interested, it just means she's truly amazed and in shock that someone who's spent a large part of her life being treated like a mother, could be thought of as anything else. I've said it too. I agree with the consensus that fear drives an ow to say this.
Then, when I finally get a chance to ask them if I can have something or ask them to do something or help me with something, they just start cursing at me and hitting me. My dad smokes and every time I ask my parents about something, he punches my face, and half the time, I start bleeding and get a swollen eye. My mom is such a hypocrite as well She tells me I'll never amount to anything in life, but she's the one who cant even get a job.
Even my father complains that she doesn't have a job. Then, one day, my mom left home for a week. I didn't care what happened to her I wouldn't care if I died,. Thank you so much for your comprehensive article. This reflects the aspects that tortured more than 30 years. I am still suffering from the aftermath of bad parenting. My mother still tells me to do something that she wants and the way she wants, which are usually based on her judgmental guess which is far from fact.
Also, I get feedback from colleagues that I have low self-esteem. I know this is a serious problem when I have a job interview or work with others. I came to know this is based on the neglecting from parents, abusing, lowering self-esteem like "you are a useless one, you will not make a good one", and also my bad character in my child year which I learned from the bad example of parents, and weak financial basis during childhood.
Somehow people didn't like me and avoided me. I guess this is due to my poor appearance, my weird attitude that made it hard for me to get along with friends in college. From countless feedback, I came to overcome much of bad characters, habit, the attitude of mine which I had inherited from my parents, but I don't know how to overcome the major piece -- lack of self-esteem. Generally, I like myself more than I used to in ten or twenty years ago. Thank God I survived. Thank you for sharing this post so I get to know the problems lucidly now, which I just presumed or conjectured for so many years.
You are a very wise and smart young adult. Please seek help from a trusting adult like a teacher or principal immediately. Your parents will understand in time. You will have a long life on front of you to reach your potential and to enjoy, to help your siblings from now will in turn help you. I am concerned that your step-Dad is a danger to his children and your Mom, especially when it concerns sexual abuse, be it now or in time.
You will not get into trouble with anyone else for asking for help or turning to anybody. Your story is similar to my childhood.. Please listen to what I am about to say, and this goes for any young one going through these situations. Please hear me when I say that is not true! That kind of abuse is proven to be far worse than that of physical. And your little siblings are watching this everyday unfold Having no self worth.
Children need love and security! They need to feel safe and worthy of love! I know this now. Took me years and years. BoArcher, God knows exactly where you are. And I would suggest that you talk to someone, a counselor too, to get everything out so your not like I was and bottled everything up for so many years. I've wanted to move out for so long, I'm only thirteen. My parents say that they don't have favorites, but I know they do, and they say they're ok with who I am, but they're always yelling at me, getting mad over little things, saying I'm not good enough.
My sister acts like I'm so dumber than her. I have mental problems and PDHD, but I didn't tell my parents, and they just won't listen, I took the test, wasn't good,. When I make suggestions to the mother of children that a care for, she accuses me of 'digging'. I feel I can't make any suggestions about the children for far that I am digging, accusing, whatever the term 'dig' means My mom is constantly telling me that I'm lazy and disgusting and said to my face that I make her want to kill herself and me because I have trouble with my school.
I'm not even not doing it, but she screams at me because I am "not doing it fast enough. When I'm reading I read slowly because the words get all mixed up in my head and she'll start screaming at me or hitting me or taking things away. She also took away everything in my room except a few pairs of clothes, my bed, and a sheet. Everything else, and put it into trash bags.
I'm also homeschooled so I can't get away from her. What do I do. Safe to say I've been struggling for awhile.. But when I ask them if they prefer my brother they deny it- even though they constantly imply and straight out say it when me and my brother are around. I always feel like something is wrong with me. But, normally every week they try to make up with me and hug me and say that they love each of us equally. But after that they go back to preferring my brother over me and insulting me. This confuses me- do they love us equally or are they cruel parents who undermine me?
That is why I always feel guilty if I say something bad about them - I need to know for sure if they love and care about me as much as my brother or if this attitude towards me is damaging and hurting me in the long term. BoArcher, and all those who have commented, please tell another adult what you and your siblings are going through. It is not your fault. You and your siblings need protection. Your parents are making mistakes. They can change but it will take a long time and professional help.
Get help for yourself and your innocent siblings. You are all children of a kind Heavenly Father and Mother. Pray to them and they will comfort you. You are in a desperate situation. It is not normal. Tell a doctor, nurse, or teacher. Please do not blame yourself. You have a bright future. Get your siblings out of that situation. Your parents will be angry at you, but it is the right thing to do. Have faith in yourself.
You reached out for help on this website. You have shown bravery and love for yourself and your family. Continue with your bravery and hope and get more help. You can also call the police for any hitting or neglect. I will pray for you. I wish I could come to your homes and help you, myself. I'm 19 years old. My mom can be my best friend sometimes, but other times she can be really mean.
And I don't like my step dad much at all. He's always angry, he says mean things and swears all the time. He isn't responsible, especially with driving. He likes to speed and swerve because he thinks it's fun. My step dad was driving my boyfriend and me to a job interview that my boyfriend had, and he was going 60 down a curvy road while it was raining, and we ended up swerving off the road into so huge rocks to avoid a big truck he almost hit.
My boyfriend was fine, thank god, but I came out of it with a broken foot. He can't keep a job, and I don't think he should even allowed to be a parent. He had three kids with my mom, they're 7, 5, and 3 years old. He's always screaming at them when they do something he doesn't like, he always mocks them when they cry or whine. He has ADD or something like that, we're still not quite sure what it is yet, so he's always loud, he's hyper, he can be annoying. But they don't seem to take that into account, they're always telling him to shut up, saying they want to beat him, telling him he's a little shit.
My step dad makes my 5 year old brother accept that he's going to spank him and makes him stand there and take it when he does. They're always quick to yell at one of the kids without even knowing anything. My 3 year old sister tries to get everyone into trouble and lies constantly, and it's gotten my brothers spank and yelled at several times for nothing. But if I try to complain about it, or about how they decide to "discipline" the kids, I get yelled at.
They treat me like shit sometimes too. I always try to stay in my room so i don't have to deal with it, but whenever I leave my step dad always has to say something to upset me. And I either just have to stand there and take it, or risk saying something and then getting yelled at and threatened to be hit by my mom. They're always making fun of my face, telling me I have resting bitch face.
And they've said it so many times already I've lost count. You said it once, I got it already. I look like a cranky bitch. I already have problems with the way I look, with my weight, how I sound. That's just what I need, to be constantly reminded that I look like I'm a bitch. When I was younger, I was fatter then I am now. And I always had problems finding jeans, I was like in a weird in between size. I needed new pants so we went to Value Village, and I had tried on so many jeans, and my mom got so frustrated that we couldn't find any for me that she started saying that it's because I'm too fat and that I need to lose weight before she buys me pants because she's not doing this anymore.
Just today I decided to leave my room to find something to eat, and they were both in the kitchen. I caught my step dad staring at me, which I've always been really uncomfortable with having people stare at me, and I asked him "why are you staring at me? He said that he wasn't, and then said I needed to stop being so paranoid. And then he started mocking me in a demeaning voice going "Mommy, mommy, he's staring at me!
You need to stop being so sensitive". I decided to leave and just go to my room again. Then my mom came in and started yelling at me, saying I need to stop treating my step dad like shit. That I only said that because I have a problem with him. Which I do, but I would've asked anyone to stop. Not just because it was him. Then she started saying how he's nothing but kind to me and that maybe they should just treat me like shit for a week to see how I feel about him afterwards. He's hardly ever nice. He's only nice once in a great while, as if to make up for all the shit he does. He constantly says awful things about me to my mom when he's upset with me, and she never does anything about it.
But when I just ask him to stop making fun of me, she yells at me for it. I could hear my step dad after that complaining about how I do nothing every single day, I just sit in my room on my stupid laptop. Saying how worthless I am. You broke my foot. You want me to go jog outside in the snow for a while? I've also been having a really bad pain in my back that I had to go see the doctor for, so it's hard to get up and move around.
They really made me feel like shit today. I honestly felt like I wanted to die. What kind of life is worth living if you're constantly ridiculed and made fun of by your own parents? Aren't parents supposed to make you feel safe? Protect you from that sort of stuff? Aren't you supposed to be able to feel like you can talk to them about anything?
I don't think you're supposed to feel like you're trapped with your parents. Normal parent-child relationships should be happy right? Being able to feel comfortable to be out of your room and around your parents, not feeling disgusted being around your dad, not having to dread waking up the next day just to hear more yelling, not feeling stressed out every single day. I'm pretty sure good dads don't walk into their daughters rooms on a hot summer night, when she's just wearing her underwear because it's too hot, and lifts up her blanket and then leaves.
I was half asleep when he did that. Like, I could see him but I couldn't do anything. I tried telling my mom once before that I was uncomfortable around him, and she just got really disappointed in me. I don't know what to do. I honestly feel so trapped and depressed. None of my friends live around me so I can't just leave. I don't have a car, or a job. I've been trying to get one, but it's winter.
And no one wants to hire someone with a broken foot. I can't speak out against them, or tell them how I feel or they'r just gonna get mad at me again. And I don't think things are bad enough to call child services or anything. Plus I'm 19, I don't think they'd do anything anyway. I have thought about it before, when my step dad was actually physically abusive to my siblings. My 7 yr old brother, who was younger then, would have night terrors. And he would wake up crying and screaming for my mom. My step dad went into his room and pushed his hand against his mouth and shoved him against the wall and kept telling him to shut up.
When my mom was pregnant with that same brother 7 years ago she was always angry. I know people get angry when they're pregnant, but she was awful. She got mad at my cat so she scruffed him and started smashing him against the wall. I yelled at her to stop and she came towards me and threw me down on my bed and started repeatedly smacking my face, telling me to shut up because I was screaming since I was scared and it hurt.
Then she told me I better pray the police don't come to the door since I was screaming so loud. They aren't physically abusive anymore. But they come really close sometimes, and even my mom's threats are enough to scare me. I don't think you should control your child with fear. She thinks I grew up to be a pretty good kid with her parenting. But I have anxiety, slight depression, I have no self confidence, I'm scared to try new things, I can get angry easily, I love to sing but I'm not able to sing in front of people if it's just me singing.
She told me when I was little as a joke that I was tone deaf. Whenever we were required to do something in school, like give a class presentation, or do a small solo in choir, or do anything that would put the attention on you, I would go hide in the bathroom until it was over.
I hated being late to class, or walking into a crowded room, because I can't stand when people look at me. I get so self conscious, thinking that they're probably thinking awful things about me. Like thinking how fat I am, or how ugly I am. That maybe I smell gross, or maybe I walk funny. My mom knows I'm self conscious, and she tells me it's stupid and that I should get over it. Move on with your life and make the best of your future. It hurts to see him have to go through what you already have been.
My son is working on getting full custody and I am there every day by his side now and in the future. If you have a grandparent or other relative you can confide in, it would help to have some kind of support.
Blessings to you and keep safe. See as a kid I had two siblings. Me and my sister were the oldest and we'd talk about the favouritism from my mother he'd get. We both remember when we were she had asked for a game for 4 years and I asked for a toy for 9 months and my brother who didn't know what they were got them in one shopping trip.
They also did more for him then us. We both went to clubs and he got all the praise for the one club he went too. It hurt because we couldn't trust our mother to not tell our brother who'd tell our friends which had happened before. I think its hard with favouritism because you feel unloved and unwanted because off the treatment from the other child.
I am a mother to a wonderful 5 year old boy and work hard at being the best mother I can be. He is a well rounded little boy who will always be my priority. I will always monitor and improve my parenting. I know that I need to learn how to be a good parent.
8 Signs of Bad Parenting That Every Parent Should Know
I myself cam from a home with an abusive father and a mother that was as good as he was bad. My father did not drink or smoke or do drugs, so there are no excuses. He is just a nasty piece of work. He would bring me home from school when my mum wasn't around and beat me with a stick, then tell me not to tell mum otherwise she would get it to.
I was made to clean the house, cook the dinner, do the ironing, make the lunches, laundry. Our house was cold, bare and full of unhappiness that he caused. I didn't need to toys to be happy. I needed the warmth of a loving home. I only recall him holding my hand twice. I had to run after him in the street when he collected me from school. His abuse of me groomed me and prepared the way for others to abuse me in various ways in my life.
In the workplace in personal relationships. I just woke in the morning and realised that it was a message to me that everything was going to be OK. It wasn't going to be like this forever. That gave me hope. At age 44 I was given the opportunity to let him know exactly what I thought of him. I spat him in the face and told him that this is the person who he is.
A person that should be spat at. His last abuse of me is that when he does I will not be able to be sad about it. He has taken away my right to mourn what should have been a loving father and protector. I'm 16 and I have a year-old brother. My mom plans to send me away to tar heels challenge because she believes that I don't listen to her and that I'm very immature when that's not the case.
I called DCF on her because of her verbal abuse a few months ago and I feel like she doesn't get it. She doesn't understand that the little mistakes I make are just me just being human and I'm constantly being called stupid and dumb and any name in the book. Thus the reason why I never talk to her about personal things anymore because I worried that she'll judge me or call me dumb for the things that are going on in my life. Sometimes I just want to run away and try to start a new life elsewhere.
It's hard trying to find a job around here and I just wish she would stop calling me names and comparing me to my best friend. She can be physical at times but it's like I can never try to explain myself or nothing. She doesn't trust me and I always have to prove myself. She favorites my brother even though she says that she doesn't. She cares more about her boyfriend than anything. She's very two-faced too, she'll probably yell at me for something stupid and then when her boyfriend comes around or when we have company come over, she'll act like nothing happened and laugh at anything they say.
She doesn't care about anyone's opinions and she never like to take responsibility for when she's wrong. I don't know what to do and sometimes I just wanna die not literally. Show her what love is? Be patient with her? These are just a few things you need to to do. Aswell, as read the Bible. Learn about God Jesus. Learn how He forgives those that forgive others. And then as a parent, teach your daughter His way. And you will see that Jesus Loves you!
He has never forgot about you.
You’re Mistaken For Your Boyfriend’s Mother
He Has blessed you with His daughter so in return; "You'll need to teach her about her Heavenly Father". You accepted and know your fault. So just go ahead and make amendments. My daughter just turned 8. I just got out of a horrible relationship. I blow up over little things. I hate who I am. I want to change my ways.
Am I too late? Is all the damaged done already? I have to understand my son and talk to him. My mom honestly sucks. All she cares about are guys yet still is crying about my dad even after he left her dumb, ugly, egotistic, psycho and lazy ass years ago. My dad is so far from perfect but my mom is just sooooo awful!!!
Theyve been divorced for seven years now and she still resents my brother and i because of my dad who she married. This dumb, useless nutbag brought us into this world and she thinks shes the only one regretting it. The reason why i hate her though is because of how much better she treats my brother over me, oh and im saving that in my memory when i pick our her nursing home someday. I honestly hope they neglect her and treat her like the useless garbage piece of shit she is. Shes a bitter, saggy, clearly premenopausal woman who deserves to be left alone hours and days on end.
I know thats awful but its not her kids fault that she married a douche. She also thinks shes actually going to get a job in psychology!!! Lmfao clown ass bitch they wont hire you with an undergrad Sorry i just needed to blow off some steam about this ugly and old ass hoebag who gave birth and then wishes she didnt. I hope they treat her like shit in the nursing home i put her in. Again as awful as that is, her existence and what shes done to her kids especially me, her daughter is dispicable alone.
Im glad shes still single because shes her own enemy. Shes getting mad old, shes ugly, shes wrinkled and is just as ugly on the inside. I'm 14 and my brother is For ever since I can remember, my parents have blamed me for all my brother's mistakes. My parents used to fight so much when I was younger and recently have started to regress back to that same amount. However, all their fights seem to pull me into the middle. Not my brother, just me. And the funny thing is, I'm not troublesome. I'm the quiet girl in class that is in top set and is predicted a 9 in every subject. When I go home, I literally have to avoid my parents to stop getting into an argument.
If my brother and I are caught watching TV by my dad, he'll be convinced that I forced everyone to watch something that they hate and that I do that all day despite him seeing me work the majority of the day , and my mom will act so surprised and claim that she had no say in it and that we forced her to. My brother is older, yet if he does anything, I'm the one who gets shouted at and critisized. My brother tends to start fights with me often, yet if he hits me, my mom will claim the same thing as above and I'll be punished as apparently according to my dad it takes 'two to tango' even though my mom will see him literally hit me for no reason.
For instance, today, my brother was showing me a music video, and my mom walked in and screamed at me for "influencing him so badly" despite him having been watching for hours while I was doing my work. They also have a nickname for me called "liar". I know what you're thinking, I probably lie alot. But no actually, this became by nickname because my brother would eat crisps and throw the wrappers behind the couch and my parents automatically blamed me, so my brother went along with it. If my brother even gets told if it'll be a light telling off, but when it's me it's serious.
For instance I was telling my mom that I hadn't eaten much lunch because I felt sick and she started accusing me of being pregnant, despite me literally never leaving the house to go out with my friends. Also, I have a severe shoulder injury, stopping me from doing certain things such as sports or ironing, yet my parents will still scream at me if I don't iron my clothes, complaining that I don't do anything.
Also I barely spend any money, while my brother and dad will spend a lot and I'm still critisized. I have anxiety and have tried to talk to my parents about it but they literally just laughed and said it was all in my head and kept asking me why. I also know that I suffer from depression but I'm to scared to even try to tell my parents about that. My mom sometimes critisizes me to my friends parents, who'll tell their kids, who'll tell the entire class and make fun of me. My dad also critisizes me in front of family members thinking that its funny.
I've actually had a sleeping disorder since I was 7, and they cared for a month or so, but just left it after, claiming it was all in my head. My mom constantly insults my dad's side of the family despite them treating her like their blood relative. I'm sorry for ranting but I didn't realise that that many people went through similar things. I know I shouldn't be complaining as people have it way worse than me, but it's just that I sort of hate it. I've started talking less in classes and barely hang out with my friends at school anymore.
I've started eating less. I'm so self-conscious and literally hate everything I do. I feel like just going on my knees and screaming, but I know that no one would understand. It's honestly just sad to realise that even some parents who may read this, still won't understand the effects of what they're doing to their children. I think it's important that even if parents don't understand what's going on with their child, they should make an effort and not critisize them and make them think they're not worth it. But honestly, having been through all this, I know I'm not going to treat my kids anything like how my parents treat me.
My dad yells at me swears at me I feel like I'm treated like dirt. As if I'm not wanted my mum just agrees with my dad saying that their being parents but when he favors my brother more doesent Care when my brothers are fighting or when my siblings are bulling me or when my sister does. Sometimes I feel so alone even when I have 4 siblings and 2 parents in the house, its just that no one pays attention to me and I understand that because I'm the oldest and I'm also 14 so I'm quite old, but all the attention just goes to my brother's and sisters My dad has two favorites and Also same for my mum and I'm not one of them: My Dad is worst however, if I get into a fight with one of my siblings he'll never listen to my point of view, he will always take the younger ones side because "Your the oldest you should know better" He always looks at me like I'm shit and I've never seen him look at any of my siblings like that, but it's okay I probably am.
I'm just so tired of being the oldest, sometimes I wish I could die and see how they react, I remember when I was in primary school and I went on a trip and asked my teacher if she would leave me behind and she asked why I just want to know why the oldest child is always left out of everything, why the oldest child is all of a sudden no longer a child as long as they're the oldest of the children, why do I have to be rushed into adulthood because I'm the oldest?
I wish there was equal treatment for all the children because I hate this very much. I have had a terribleness childhood. Neglect, favouritism other siblings , physical abuse, mental abuse, locking myself away thinking I was safe only by myself and most importantly always told I was wrong and done everything incorrectly. I won't go into detail about my past. But I have recently been suffering from depression, anxiety, lack of confidence etc. I have been seeing many Phsyciatrists and have stumbled one amazing angel.
She has made me understand my childhood and the reason I lack trust in people etc. I feel a lot better however I still have issues. I have had a child out of wedlock and I am now married to another woman. The issue is my daughter mother has now stopped me from seeing her for honestly no reason at all, I think it may be because I am married now. She does not even respond to my messages asking if my daughter is ok.
I have been in her life since birth and now she is nearly 2YO. I have sent my C application to court and have a date coming up. My worry is I feel my child is going to have problems in her future because of what is happening now. What can I do to make things better? Also what Can I do to penalise her for what she has done? I'm concerned for you. If you need help do call your DSS and police for assistance. Hello, I'm 14, and my mom comes home from work which she goes crazy on and comes in my room and starts cussing and said I can cuss whenever I wan't because I'm an adult.
And said she will call DSS and let them explain to me the rules or something. Can somebody please tell me what to do in a situation like this where a mom goes crazy? Ag85 I really hope that you see this. This article ticks me off to no end. Avoiding and Neglecting Your Child versus 7. Too Much Pampering or Interfering. You can do no right! I know there is a happy medium. The author either doesn't know or doesn't care to share it with the rest of us. My guess is that you are doing just fine despite the parenting that you received.
Please let me reassure you. I was raised in a two parent household. Love and acceptance was not in short supply. My children, much like myself at their age have no problem whining about homework or chores. They are still expected to complete both. It sounds like yours are as well. Those are both normal human emotions, especially if you feel you are failing or misunderstood. Keep being there for your kids. It seems to be very much a priority to you and that is so important! Just like you are to them! This is a highly informative article.
Parenting is probably the most important job that we will ever do in our lives, and knowing what we might be doing wrong will help us to keep an eye on our own behavior. I like this article very much. No offense, but this article seemed kind of "harsh". Not written in a real encouraging light. Just saying if u do this and that ur a shitty parent. Not impressed at all. Parenting is the toughest job on earth. And some are more equipped than others. We need all the encouragement we can get. The "happy parenting" at the end made me lol. I had a terrible upbringing.
I have seen several therapists over the years. I was diagnosed with ptsd. And have panic and anxiety disorder. I have shut out most of my childhood memories of not all. I wish I could remember things. My family doesn't talk about anything. I just know if certain things through because of old family videos and every once in awhile my mother would bring things up and I'd have flash backs. I'm a terrible mother and I'll be the first to admit it. My mom, I love her, but she wasn't a good mom. She always put men above us kids and neglected us.
So I have a hard time showing affection or communicating and im very slow at processing things. It puts strain in my marriage. My children are now in elementary school and are out of control and rebelling and so disrespectful. I seem to feel I am wallowing in self pity instead of being there mother. I don't know how to be a mother. They don't listen to anything I say and I'm always either depressed or angry because they aren't listening and fighting with me at everything I'm trying to tell them to do. Like please do your homework, or would you unload the dishes?
My mom didn't teach us anything. And I rarely saw my dad as a kid. I lived in a terrible chaotic home as a kid. I want my kids to know I love them. I know someone exactly like you!! I've seen her interact with her son and let me tell you now.. Her discipline is a joke! But she can't see that, I want to laugh at her! Honestly, every time she "disciplines" him, it's laughable.. Sorry to say it but you're the cause of why you're now an "abused parent".
Man up and take control back.. And please for the love of God quit saying "I could care less".. I have read a lot of these comments and can see a pattern here in all of this. It seems to me that some of the commenter's grew up being raised by people with poor parenting skills, notice I did not say bad parents. I think we all start out with the best of intentions, but somewhere along the line we just stop caring or trying for whatever reason. I don't have anything against spanking as a punishment, I just prefer not to use it.
I discipline my son in other ways that I feel affect his behavior in a better way. Most of the people who replied are not complaining because they didn't always get what they wanted, or because their parents couldn't afford to give them a lush lifestyle. It was a lack of attention, disrespect and neglectful or abusive treatment. I have seen people treat their animals better than they treat their own children. Well I'm 21 now, growing up I didn't have a dad or any support. I was pretty much ignored.
For a while I made excuses like my mom's just busy. I think all I did was drag my mom down. My mom had over 6 on that list. We don't speak anymore and I'm much happier that way. You can't choose your parents and you can't choose your kids. Very interesting chain of comments. I am a single mom divorced and I have a 15 year old son. I will admit I have lost my temper when he has defied me or purposely has lied to me.
However,we all know yelling does not work. There have been many times that my son has got in my face literally and has cursed at me, called me names and has even pushed me around. When it is good it is really good.
However, if I give him an instruction, i. Chores or homework, etc. His friends have seen it, but he truly doesn't care what anybody says or thinks. He is not a big fan of authority and it concerns me. He can be really sweet at times, and I have always been there for him for various reasons. I do not condone the behavior but he could care less. We have tried counseling several times.
However, if he doesn't want to go, he is that defiant that he won't go. Same applies for school as well. He has been diagnosed with ODD oppositional defiance disorder. If anyone could give any advise or suggestions, I would be very very grateful! I am 16 years old and I have a mother who has been insulting me since I was She calls me all sorts of names and always picks on me when she's angry with someone else.
I am the only boy in my family and this has gone on too long. The one which really made me sad was when she told me that I will die. This really made me feel bad about life and I actually wanted to just leave my family for good. I am 16 and can not leave yet. I wrote an exam in and failed and I am sure it's because of her. When she calls me names and sometimes slap me I am never able to concentrate or read for at least 3 days and sometimes I even give up on something I am trying to achieve.
My mum insulted me and abused me a lot during the exam period and now I want to write it again and she still insults me. I want to get out of my house please what should I do. My dad always supports everything she says or does to me and even when I put all hopes in him he ends up disappointing me.
This was an excellent and very helpful article. I also found several of the comments to be very helpful as well. My family is toxic and is becoming increasingly worse. I had a difficult childhood, although I did manage to do very well in school in spite of my parents, especially my mother, who resented me greatly and felt compelled to work very diligently to make me miserable and to control me. I don't have children, or a significant relationship, and I've had a very hard time for the last 20 years since graduating from high school, and my parents, in both aggressive and shockingly secretive ways, have worked to make me crazy, miserable, and generally unsuccessful-I guess for both entertainment and manipulative purposes.
In spite of them, I am now finally doing better financially and in my career. However, I definitely have some major trust issues and I have had to relocate extremely frequently, so I don't have a lot of friends. I just hope I can develop the maturity and the strength to maintain infrequent contact with my family while being able to emotionally harden my heart to their manipulative, hateful nastiness. Even though I know my parents probably better than anyone, I will never truly understand how or why they act the way they do. If I had a child, I would never conciously choose to be a bad parent in any way.
Sadly, at this time it appears that I will probably never get to be a parent, and I do not believe adoption is a good idea. It seems like it pleases my mother greatly to know that I am sad about anything-but she resents everyone in the world and seems to have the spoiled and deranged attitude that she would only be happy if she were the only person anyone cared about. My father is more difficult to figure out, because he doesn't speak often and almost never voices personal information, but he obviously has worked with my mother to purposely try to ruin my life in several ways, I have had unfortunate, shocking opportunities to learn.
It appears that many, many people are bad parents and do ridiculously abusive, appalling, shameful things to their children. I would guess that along with just being nasty people, it probably does have something to do with stupidity as well, although my parents are both college graduates and my father is purportedly a genius. Recovering from this is difficult, but ironically, I think the answer is to distance your heart from the people you spent your childhood loving. You can't treat your parents like you can treat your children- if they're just brats, you can't really teach them to behave.
In spite of everything my parents have put me through, and believe me, it has been ridiculously bad, for some reason, I just can't hate them. I'm not sure if they have succeeded in stripping away my strength to be able to hate them, of if I just cannot help but to always care, but I guess the answer is to keep a safe distance from them, because I just can't allow myself to continue to be abused for their entertainment and manipulative purposes. My poor sister is not as fortunate as I am; she truly is insane and beyond help, although she is financially much better off than I am.
This is because my parents have gone to great lengths to make sure she would be financially successful. My mother didn't feel as insecure about her because she did not have spectacular school success. Because of this dynamic, my sister now has a real sibling rivalry type of hatred for me and she is being very manipulated by my parents. I feel powerless to help her, and actually feel a little bit of relief that she is the one with the major mental problems and the bad attitude and hate she has for me makes it easier to allow her to be the one to have all the attention and support she craves from my parents and not to interfere with that in any way.
I guess I do feel a small amount of guilt and sadness for my sister, but I honestly don't feel like I can do anything to change this situation. I'm just going to leave this whole mess behind, which is what they all seem to want anyway , without totally shutting off all communication with them, and hopefully I'll be able to figure out how to have a healthy relationship one day. I came from a one-parent home my mother and 4 sisters and brothers including myself, which was very hard on many, many times. The father left when I was one and a half.
He was an alcoholic. He didn't pay child-support, we lived on ADC.
My mother wasn't perfect, but I think she did the best she could under the circumstances that she was under. She had boyfriends that she went out at night with, so she was gone a lot at night. The eldest brother was real mean and he was abusive verbally and physically, which made life much harder and even worse.
Mom had her parents close by to help out. She said nice and bad things through the years I was growing up, which I always remembered. I think that it was hard on her trying to raise five kids by herself, with out the help of the father, who was an alcoholic and never cared. He never sent birthday, or Christmas cards ever. He never called or wrote letters, and never had any contact since the day he left our mother for another woman.
He and the woman moved to California, then to Las Vegas, Nevada. He was put in jail for not paying child support in California, then he moved to Las Vegas.
She was a real good cook and made really good suppers. When she was low on money we would have to eat breakfast food or popcorn for supper, which wasn't good, but at least it was something to eat. She waas lienient, and wasn't really strict. She is gone now. She went through a lot, and so did her five kids. I have just searched up for an article or something like this because I was just "lectured" as you would call it from my own mother in the worst way. I am a 13 year old teenager who is living in a house with my two older sisters, mother, and father. I am here to tell you my story and if you could then I would like you to post a comment below on how this could be resolved and or how I could stop or.
For the first sign, the only part that was directed to me was where the child didn't get what they needed. This is mostly towards my mother for she never has and never will actually help me on my school projects or even buy supplies for them either. She never cared to tend to our other needs as well such as clothing and food, resulting in me and my sisters having to help each other out and its like were living without a mother. On the other hand, our father is very kind but also tough which I will get to later on , but he helped us out with a lot of projects too.
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For the second sign, both of my parents did a lot of verbal abuse to us, but this has mostly to do with my mother who does frequently but even more often now. I'm a 29 year old woman and I'm still working through the damage inflicted by my parents. Sometimes I will just sit in anger just hating them, thinking how useless they have been to my life and how I can't stand my dad for being such a sad and weak man. My mom was never able to be present with me, always put me down, and was caught up in her own depression, anxiety, and low-self esteem. Sometimes I snap at them, or will be deliberately rude and cold to them at times.
I like to make them feel intimidated by me. The thing is, I know I can't blame them anymore. I have to let it go so I can grow and move on with my life.
8 Signs of Bad Parenting That Every Parent Should Know | WeHaveKids
They may never change, but it's not my job to change them. They had good intentions, and only did hurtful things to me out of ignorance. It's not really their job to give me guidance. I wish I had more guidance growing up, I know I would have had better self esteem. But I'm 29 now, and I am doing my best to let this baggage go. I assert myself around them now, and let them know that I know how to direct my life. I feel that sometimes a good parent can be made to look like a bad parent by the hands of an ex.
I call it brain washing by a parent. Which is very bad parenting. If the child is old enough and can see through it then they have a chance. But the problem doesn't just happen with the parent who is doing the brain washing. The problem comes from the parent who is on the other end of this brain washing.
That parent becomes so stressed and often angry that the children start feeling effects of it. So then she in turns starts feeling as if she really is a bad parent. I know this brain washing effect. The household can never be peaceful, because the family is always on edge, they are always struggling, and Mom is always in fear. Now after 19 years of fear for my children, and worrying about being a good mom and not becoming what my ex was trying to make me become I now have PTSD.
I see the effects it has had on my children, My son has nothing to do with his dad pretty much, my oldest daughter uses him to get what she wants, and gives her what ever she wants.